I think it is important to keep sharing, exploring, and growing, even when you may be in a Valley instead of a Peak. As dancers and athletes we hide in shame from those phases of our journey that aren’t impressive…even from ourselves.
Due to a constantly challenging shoulder joint I am working hard to rehab (it is an up and down battle) – I have felt very stuck in my ability to express and exert serious cathartic energy into movement. I have had to contain, and be careful, cautious, observant, respectful. In freestyle, for many of us, this can be SO frustrating! Sometimes you just feel so physically vulnerable you just throw in the towel and don’t move at all, you avoid the studio, the mirror, the camera. I’ve done it more than once.
I am doing my best everyday to work within what is healthy, being conscious of what my body speaks back to me, but also not giving up on movement in general through this time. I want to share because this is NOT my best.
I have to stay so physically relaxed, I have to use my non-dominant arm, I can’t throw or push or engage in the way I feel I need to against that stick of metal. It is tough. And it affects my lines, and my ability to enjoy the motion creation without judgement calls. I stay more engaged mentally and intuitively in the dance than driving expression down into my heart and lower passions and powers. (This is sometimes where freestyles can be the most elating but sometimes physically destructive – more on that another time).
But I’ll keep working with as much patience and curiosity as I can. Because even this, even here, there is opportunity. And worthwhile time to invest. Sometimes strength to a pole dancer feels like the ONLY thing that matters, even on the floor and grounded movement. But I’ll keep searching…
Thank you for searching with me.
How do you move through times like these? Sometimes patience, simplification, and compassion are the best things to bring into the room with you.